Tuesday, February 26, 2013


     A common tactic used by up and coming tyrants and power hungry narcissists is to be surrounded by children during public appearances and use the power of cuteness to sway the masses toward any number of self-destructive policies.  When children are not personally available for use as props or set decor, it's also typical to pull out a letter allegedly written by some dis-advantaged elementary school kid, who was so concerned about the issue-at-hand, that they decided to sit down and write their president a letter about it.  As we all know, the one thing eight year olds love to do is write letters.  I'm also pretty sure that there is no chance that the parents of these children had anything to do with their children's sudden interest in public policy.  And it would surely be crazy talk to even suggest that someone desperate enough to exploit children for political purposes might go as far as to fake a "Dear President" letter...so I won't go there.
     In keeping with the idea that what's good for the goose is good for the gander, I decided to adopt this tried and true liberal tactic myself.  So here is a letter to President Obama that may or may not have been written by my daughter.

Dear Mr. President,
     My name is _ _ _ _ _ _ and I am eight years old.  My Daddy says you are trying to destroy our country so you can remake it the way you want to.  My little brother does the same thing when I try to make animals with Play-dough.  That makes me sad.  My Daddy told me that we don't have as much money for ice cream and toys because you are taking more of his money to give to lazy people, and because Daddy's customers have less money to spend at his company for the same reason.  If my Daddy's company doesn't have enough customers, will he lose his job?  That would make me sad, because he said he would take us to the beach this year if we had enough money.  I like to build sand castles.
     Mr. Obama, are you going to take away people's guns?  Our Principal said that a bad man hurt some kids with a gun and we should tell a teacher if we wanted to talk about our feelings.  If a bad man comes to our school, who will help us if my teacher isn't allowed to shoot him?  I would be very sad if my friend Timmy had to go to heaven because there was no way to stop the bad man.  Timmy's birthday is next week, he is having a party.
     My favorite story is "The Little Red Hen".  It is a about animals on a farm that want some bread, but the hen is the only one that will work to make it.  The other animals still think they should have the bread.  My Daddy says that they think they are something called "entitled".  That must mean "lazy".  He says that you really need to read that book.  If you come to our story time, I can read it to you.   
     I hope you get my letter and read it to the world like you do with letters from other kids.  Please stop hurting my Mommy and Daddy.  It makes me sad.
                                                                                                          Your pawn,      
                                                                                                           _ _ _ _ _ _     

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