Friday, October 9, 2009


To be fair, I am not going to blame this one on President Obama. As usual, I woke up this morning wondering what "fresh hell" the media or our government was going to heap onto us today. And as usual, I was not disappointed.
I was just finishing with getting my daughter ready for school when my wife called out from the living room, "You've got to be kidding...they gave him the Nobel Prize". At that point, pretty much all you can do is crack a glib/sarcastic smile and continue trying to master the skill of pony-tail tying...a skill no truck driver should ever need, but hey-my daughter likes her hair that way.
Of coarse they would give him a Nobel Prize. After all, when your list of recipients includes Yasser "Jihad" Arrafat, Jimmy "Misery Index" Carter, and Al "Chicken Little" Gore, why would you not add Barak "Spread the Wealth" Obama to the mix. Then I heard the convoluted reasoning behind the decision to nominate him, and I almost drove off the road with laughter. The "promise" to stop nuclear proliferation and bring change to the world? Really? A "promise"?
If a "promise" is all it takes to win a Nobel prize, then let me throw my hat into the ring for next year's round right now. I figure with the current criteria for winning a Nobel prize, I will have no shortage of competition. Let's face it, just about anyone can win one, the average two year old child, house plants, Cartman from "South Park", and Sea Monkeys. After all, we've all done about as much to create "peace" as Obama has. But I must say, I truly believe that I may have an edge over any competition I might face in next year's running. I have some really cool promises.

1. I promise to bring world peace, and interplanetary peace as well. (I'm a "big picture" kinda guy).
2. I promise to bring back 8-tracks and "The Muppet Show".
3. I promise to bring Subway, KFC, McDonald's, and Pizza Hut to Ethiopia.
4. I promise to invent donuts that make you thinner and smarter.
5. I promise to bring Micheal Jackson back from the dead...with his original nose.
6. I promise to prove to the world that rap music makes you dumber.
7. I promise to outlaw droopy pants and sideways hats.
8. I promise to create a car that runs on good intentions and "BS", so liberals can have a cheap way to get to around.
9. I promise to make it rain coffee every Monday morning.
10. I promise to make President Obama actually read the Constitution.

I really shouldn't make fun of this too much, after all, let's look at all of Obama's Nobel Prize-worthy accomplishments so far.

Victory in Iraq...not.
Victory in Afghanistan...not.
Stopped Iran's nuke program...not.
Israel/Palistine problem solved...not.
Crime in Chicago ended...not.
Increased value of the dollar...not.
Caught Bin Laden...not.
Decreased deficit...NOT!
Struck fear into the hearts of our enemies...not.
Helped Darfur...not.
Lowered unemployment...not.
Brought world peace...not.
Brought peace in his hometown...not.
Brought peace to the average water cooler political discussion...not.
Learned how to spell "peace"...maybe.