Sunday, May 11, 2008


If there is a list of tenets that describe conservative doctrine, in the top tier would have to be the ability to accept reality. Being a conservative, I have had to accept the cold hard reality that I have no candidate in the 08' election. Even if John McCain could win, he is only a thimble full of issues away from being a Democrat anyway. No matter how you slice it, we are entering the dark ages regarding conservative philosophy, and our country is going to suffer greatly for it.
Accepting this reality has lead me to a crossroads. I can spiral into a depression that will surely end my marriage and cause me to lose all faith in humanity as a whole, or I can look at the bright side. I choose the latter.
Yes, there is a bright side to liberals having total control of our government. My theory is based on the old concept that sometimes things need to get worse before they get better. It is also based on things I know from history. So here is a list of silver linings to the cloud that is coming to a sky near you.

1. We will finally find out how high gas prices will have to go before people actually do something about it.
2. Hunting will once again become fashionable and socially acceptable because of the high cost of groceries.
3. Jobs will become so scarce that even the most liberal among us will become bitter about illegal immigration.
4. Syria and/or Iran will take over Iraq after our surrender/pull-out, giving me the right to say "I told you so".
5. #4 will embolden terrorists around the globe to attack the United States again. This will show the country how wrong the libs were and lead to a new conservative up-rising.
6. Israel will be forced to take drastic actions against newly emboldened terrorists.
7. Russia, North Korea and/or China will feel left out and ultimately try to attack Israel, sparking a new world war.
8. A new world war will remind the slackers in this country about their priorities in life.
9. Manliness and rugged individualism will not only become fashionable, they will be necessary to survive.
10. Feeling their oats, liberals and Muslims will try to get away with too much, too fast and turn the world against them.
11. Government cheese is great with crackers and spam.
12. You'll meet new friends and reunite with old ones at the unemployment line.
13. I'll have really cool stories about the second depression to bore my grandchildren with.
14. My kids will not only know the value of a dollar, they will cherish it.
15. Teenagers will no longer be able to afford tattoos and body piercings.
16. Since pharmecuticle companies will be out of business, people will have to deal with their emotional problems the old fasioned way...beers or Bibles.
17. Everyone else's car will be as crappy as mine.
18. I will be proven right.