Thursday, March 6, 2008


I saw two things this week that supports my theory that liberalism is probably a mental disorder, not unlike schizophrenia or Down's syndrome. First, I saw burning homes in the Pacific Northwest. These palacial new homes were allegedly set afire by so-called "environmentalists". The pessimist in me believes that in all likelihood, this is the case. The optimist in me hopes that a more logical theory can be applied. I'd like to think that it was not the "greenie weenies" who torched these homes. Because if they did, that would mean that they are even more mentally challenged than I had originally thought. I'd like to think that in actuality, it was either a building contractor or lumber supply company that burnt these homes in hopes of "double dipping" on the price of a new home via insurance payouts.
This theory appeals to me because it is easier to rationalize in my head. Though I am not a big fan of crime, the "double dipping" theory does follow a train of logic. Unfortunately, the authorities seem to believe that there is sufficient evidence to implicate the Earth Liberation Front (collection of mentally unstable environmental wackos). So I must assume the police are right.
This means that the E.L.F. is a group that believes that the destruction of trees is bad, and their way of dealing with this is to destroy more trees. After all, these houses will surely be rebuilt...with lumber. They also believe that pollution is bad, and their way of dealing with this is by putting caustic gasses and smoke into the air. After all, where there's fire, there's smoke. Let's not forget the pollution and energy consumption required to manufacture and deliver the materials for constructing these homes...twice. Let's also not forget the diesel engines that run the firetrucks and the polluted water that runs off as a result of fighting a fire.
I'm sure that the E.L.F. justifies their actions by saying that they are bringing their issues to the media forefront. The last time I checked, terrorism was not a very productive means of promoting one's issues. The Taliban wanted to get noticed. How's that workin' out for them?

The second thing I saw this week was an HBO documentary. It chronicled the "Gates Project" in New York City. This was not nearly the example of insanity that the E.L.F. story was, but it still applies. The "Gates Project" was the art exhibit that you may have heard about last year in Central Park. Basically, two artists were able to convince New York City to allow them to install hundreds of blaze-orange, metal, wicket-shaped eyesores, straddling the walkways throughout the park. Each standing approx. 15 feet tall, and sporting matching orange drapes that were later released from hidden recesses on the top of each wicket.
As I watched the documentary, it became apparent to me that the artists were very comfortably living out their senile years. It also became apparent to me that with the right connections, you can sell anything to a New York City mayor. I did not get to see the entire documentary, so I was not able to find out for sure exactly who paid for this very expensive endeavor. This is probably for the best. To think of tax payers funding this while so many problems have not been solved would be too much for me to handle.
They should have used those orange gates to encircle New York City. That way there would be a clear line of demarcation that lets you know when you have entered Bizarro World.

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