Friday, October 31, 2008

FUTURE HISTORY


I've never mentioned it before, but in addition to being a Dad, Husband, truck driver, and hack writer, I am also an inventor in my spare time. My most recent creation is a computer attachment that allows me to retrieve blogs from the future. I built it with parts borrowed from old washing machines and a generator from a 73' R-model Mack. The following is a Roadhouse blog article from the year 2012.





In a shocking, yet ironic turn of events today, Radio and TV personality Tavis Smiley was indicted today under recently legislated federal fairness doctrine statutes. Forgive me for not crying my eyes out. Don't get me wrong, I supported his valiant effort to protest the fairness doctrine through the use of civil disobedience. His on-air broadcast of solely his own opinion was to be a gateway to a Supreme Court case that would overturn the Obama administration's fairness doctrine legislation. Unfortunately, Mr. Smiley forgot about the two leftist Justices recently appointed by President Obama. After carefully researching case precedents from both Germany and France, the Supreme Court ruled against Smiley and placed him under the custody of the state.

It is ironic that Smiley had so heartily endorsed Obama's campaign despite repeated warnings from the "right wing" regarding Obama's long list of socialist statements and associates. Smiley stood by as one conservative talk show host after another fell prey to the fairness doctrine, either through license denial, format change or prosecution. It was only after Smiley was fined for not allowing the appropriate amount of "opposing response" during an on-air discussion about the first amendment that he saw a problem with the fairness doctrine. In protest, Tavis Smiley returned to the airwaves the next day and publicly criticized President Obama's understanding of the first amendment. He was immediately arrested.

Now Smiley can talk all day long, but the only one who will hear him is his cell mate.

On the bright side, now that my blog has gone "underground" I get a sensation of being rebellious that I haven't felt since I was a teenager. My only fear is that if I get caught blogging without "opposing response" I will be sent to jail and not see my children. But now that the fairness doctrine is being applied to the blogosphere, I feel compelled to fight against it even more than before.
Another silver lining to the Obama cloud is that now that I've been layed off from my job, I get to spend more time with my kids and more time blogging as well. And why not? Since Obama has decided to "spread the wealth around" for the past four years, I don't need to work anyway. I just sit back and let the government checks roll in.

In other blog news, unemployment has surpassed 23% this week with no signs of pulling back. The Obama administration is scrambling to find out why. Obama and the Democrat controlled Congress have raised taxes three times this year alone and tightened regulation across the board on all remaining industries. Yet they can't figure out why so many companies have either gone to other countries or simply closed their doors. Duh!

Better still, now that inflation has driven the price of even the most common products through the roof, some former Obama supporters are asking when his "change" and "hope" policies are going to result in prosperity or even basic sustenance. When Vice President Biden was asked why toilet paper is now two dollars a roll, he was quoted as saying "Gird your loins" and walked away.
Now that the price of gas is $7.00 a gallon, some of the more liberal blogs are starting to criticize Obama for taking so long to bring us the wind/solar powered cars that he said would bring us "hope" and "change". They just don't understand why people aren't clambering to invest in such technologies while "Captain Tax-meister" is in office.

I said it way back in 2008, and I said it when Iran nuked Israel..."Liberalism is a mental disorder".

Sunday, October 26, 2008

HOW TO DESTROY AMERICA

Tools you will need:
1. Candidate willing to destroy America
2. Accommodating media
3. Easily distracted population
4. Poor public education system
5. Radical socialist agenda

Step one:
Find perfect candidate. Preferably a tall, handsome, articulate black male. Tall and handsome to project strength while seeming too adorable to be evil. Black to take full advantage of white guilt. This will also inoculate the candidate from serious criticism by claiming racism whenever someone disagrees with his policy. Ideally, the candidate should be a radical leftist with a silver tongue. This will insure that he will institute the proper "America killing" policies before the people realize what hit them.

Step two:
Create a media so bent on the destruction of those who do not agree with their agenda, that they are willing to sacrifice the country to assure their enemy's political demise. This will be useful for propaganda purposes. In the event that a long list of communist, terrorist, or or generally America hating associates should happen to plague your candidate, your media will be able to down-play his association with them and imply that the opposition is racist or "out of touch" for even asking about it. This will give your candidate "gravitas" and legitimacy where normally there would be neither.

Step Three:
Be sure your candidate is skilled in making his policies sound like spun gold. This is accomplished by the constant use of vague catch phrases, mottoes, and slogans. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Remember, the fewer details the better. The last thing you want is to have to elaborate on the consequences of your candidate's real agenda. As often as possible, use phrases like; middle class, working family, single mom, greed, corporate fat cats, right to choose, special interests, de-regulation, and any other vagaries that your team can come up with.

Step four:
Be sure that your candidate is elected coinciding with a congress that will accept and promote his agenda.

Step five:
The best agenda for destroying America is socialism. Therefore, your candidate will need to institute policies such as income re-distribution and nationalized health care under the guise of "fairness".

Step six:
You will need to institute an "entitlement mentality" among the populous. This can be done by promoting labor unions, increasing/extending unemployment benefits and controlling the public schools.

Step seven:
You will need to squelch the people's ability to hear opposing opinions or educate themselves. This is accomplished via the "fairness doctrine" and Internet taxation.

Step eight:
Nominate Supreme Court Justices that will allow you to shape and mold the Constitution as you see fit. This you will allow you to disregard the right of the unborn to live. It will also allow you to disregard the right of people to protect themselves from the criminal element and your new oppressive government. It will also allow you to confiscate personal property for government profit.

Step nine:
Demoralize your military by cutting their budget and rendering their accomplishments and sacrifices in Iraq moot. This is best accomplished by pulling out of Iraq before the Iraqis are ready to defend and govern themselves. You can also hasten the process by giving constitutional rights to terrorists picked up on the battlefield in other countries.

Step ten:
Destroy the value of the US dollar. This is best accomplished by increasing taxes on the "wealthy". This will result in lay-offs, fewer factory orders, higher prices on goods and services, and higher poverty rates. Also, continue to promote the idea of giving loans to people who would not normally be able to afford them.


This ten step program (if properly implemented) is your best bet for the absolute destruction of the United States.

Monday, October 20, 2008

"TERRY THE TRUCKER" DEFENDS "JOE THE PLUMBER"

My blog is fast becoming exactly what I wanted to avoid. When I started, I knew I wanted to refrain from letting my blog turn into just another Obama bashing venue. Unfortunately, I can't justify letting Barak Obama get away with pulling the wool over the eyes of the American people without at least writing about it.
Last week, one man's life was turned upside down after a game of football with his son turned into an international incident. Plumber Sam Wurtzelbacher was in his front yard with his son when none other than the Messiah himself came walking down his street on a door to door stump campaign. What happened next could only be described as "my wildest dream".
"Joe the plumber" as he is now known, was hand-delivered televised face time with "Comrade Hopeski" and didn't miss a beat. As if coached by Carl Rove, Joe told Obama about his ambition to buy the company he's currently employed at, and how Obama's economic plan would make that dream much harder to realize. As if coached by Karl Marx, Obama replied with a flowery salesman-like explanation of how he wants to take from Joe's pocket and give it to the slackers of America. Obama actually used the term "spread the wealth around". The whole scene was caught on camera and later that day was seen by everyone.

Since then, Obama's droids have taken to publicly ridiculing "Joe the plumber" and have given him a full media rectal exam for all the world to see. And for what? Having the audacity to ask "His Hopeness" a question. Was it Joe's fault that Obama let the commie cat out of the bag with his less-than-stealthy answer? Was it Joe's fault that he just happens to understand basic economics?
You see, Joe understands what Obama supporters don't. Small businesses commonly far exceed the $250,000 mark that Obama is claiming to propose. Even a small plumbing company can pass that number with little trouble at all. By the time you add the expenses of a small fleet of stocked service trucks, employees to drive them, insurance, payroll, warehousing space, clerical space and assorted other incidentals, your assets and capital can go well beyond $250,000 in no time.
The other dirty little secret that Obama "hopes" you don't know is that companies do not pay taxes. That's because taxes are just another business expense and are passed onto the consumer as part of their product or service's price. Companies also cover tax burden by cutting back on perks and benefits to their employees. They also tend to purchase less equipment and innovative technology if they have to pay more taxes. That means less jobs for those who would have made those particular technologies. So when Obama tells you that he is only going raise taxes on the rich, remember that everything you buy is made by a "rich" guy somewhere, and part of the cost of that product is going to passed right onto you.
I guess as long as you're not a rich guy, work for a rich guy, or buy a product from a rich guy, you probably don't have to worry about Obama's economic policy.

Rather than expose these little facts to the public though, the media has decided that we need to know all about "Joe the plumber's" dirty laundry. In all actuality, it wouldn't have mattered if Charles Manson had asked Obama those questions, they were valid questions and were answered like a true socialist would.

Thursday, October 16, 2008


ROADHOUSE DOES THE MEDIA'S JOB


For the Obama supporters who occasionally check out my blog, I offer this video. I'm not even going to comment on it. Just watch and learn.




video

Saturday, October 11, 2008

SLACKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE

Since my "Little Red Hen" article on April 19, I have been wanting to write about socialism in the modern world and how it would apply to Americans if it were to ever become the norm here. Now that our economy has been "bent over the fuel tank" (an old truck driver saying) for the past few weeks, I've noticed a recurring theme in some of the blogs I frequent. That theme is the idea that maybe the free market isn't all it's cracked up to be and that maybe we should give this socialism thing a try for a while. If you are reading this and fall into that category, this blog's for you.

There are really only a few things you need to know about socialism in order to understand it's negative effect on the human condition. Socialism is based on a few concepts. One, everyone is equal. Two, everyone is equally entitled. Three, government knows best. Four, the government has the ultimate power over the individual.
The kingpin of socialism is the idea that everyone has the right to the things that others have, especially wealth, and to a lesser extent homes, and health care. This is not true. We have the right to pursue wealth, homes and health care. We have the right to work as hard as we want to achieve our goals.
In a free market system, the individual is empowered to achieve his goals on his own terms and the sky is the limit according to how hard that individual is willing to work for it and how savvy his decision making skills are. Under socialism, the individual is reduced to being a slave to the state. First by depending on the government to meet his needs, and then by squelching his ambition to improve his situation. After all, why go the extra mile to secure your stability in life if you know your government is going to wipe your butt for you if you exhaust your supply of government issued toilet paper?
One of the most popular justifications for socialism seems to be "fairness". Pro socialism people seem to be operating on the notion that it is not fair that some people are wealthy, while others are poor. This makes no sense to me. Unless we are talking about people who swindled or robbed their way into wealth, fairness does not apply.
Take Steven Spielberg for example. He is what any reasonable person would call "rich". According to socialism, his wealth should be taken by a third party (government) and re-distributed to the poor. Is this "fair"? No. Did the poor guy schlep his way through film school and bust his hump trying to get his first film produced? Did the poor guy take the risks and make the sacrifices, decisions and investments required to parley an education in cinema into a multi-million dollar enterprise? No. Or did the poor guy go through life playing X-box and smoking weed? Did the "poor" guy sit around and blame others for his lot in life, or did he make the changes necessary to get out of his situation? Why is the "poor" guy entitled to any of Spielberg's money?
This is the problem with socialism. It rewards the slacker and villainizes the ambitious. On a very much smaller scale, as a truck driver, I make a pretty good living. I make enough money to support my family and keep the lights on. Occasionally, I will hear a comment from someone about how unfair it is that I make the wage that I do, yet they make so much less. My reply is always the same. I tell them that there is nothing stopping them from getting their commercial driver's licence and working their way up the ranks as I did for so many years. It is usually at this point that the conversation comes to a halt.
It is the same in the blogs that I read today. People lamenting the fact that "the rich get richer and the poor get poorer". Is there something stopping you from developing the next computer operating system or inventing the next Pocket Fisherman? Or do you think you deserve a piece of someone else's pie just because you woke up this morning and said so. Would that be fair?

If you want a house, quality health care, or a gold plated hubcap for your Hyundai, it is your responsibility to work for it...earn it. Stop looking to others to pay your way through life. Stop looking at wealth as if it were a sin, while at the same time complaining about not being wealthy.

Monday, October 6, 2008

ROADHOUSE TO THE RESCUE

First, I would like to apologize to the nation for waiting so long to fix our current economic "crises". You see, I've been busy working for a living as well as caring for our new baby. So now I will take a few minutes out of my schedule to submit my plan for economic recovery. Not so much because I think I am so scary smart, but because no one else seems to be doing it, much less our government.
I'm only going to do this once, so pay attention.

My plan consists of two parts.

Part one: Creating Incentive

1. Return the 750 billion dollars to the people and rescind the "bailout plan".
2. Lower all tax rates at all levels 3-5% for the foreseeable future.
3. Temporarily lower interest rates 1/4 point across the board.
4. Suspend capital gains taxes for a period of time not exceed one year, re-instate them at 30% less than the current rate.
5. Offer and aggressively promote government bonds to the public.
6. Permanently suspend all non-essential government spending, including all loans, grants and subsidies that are not expected to result in a reasonable return.
7. Stop illegal immigration and prosecute those who hire illegals.
8. Rescind all previous legislation that requires lenders to loan money to those who have questionable credit.

Part two: Instilling Confidence in the Market

1. File charges on anyone who is guilty of illegal lending practices.
2. In a very loud, public way, name those who are responsible for strong-arming the lending community into giving money to deadbeats. You know, the Clinton era Democrats.
3. Censure all those in Congress who supported such legislation.
4. Allow all delinquent loans to be foreclosed on and require those who applied for those loans to take an economics coarse before they can ever borrow again.
5. Draft legislation that requires all members of Congress to pass a basic economics coarse before they can participate in any legislation that involves money.
6. Fire Henry Paulson and replace him with Thomas Sowell.

Was that so difficult? Now, if there are no other pressing matters, I have to change a diaper.