G.I. JOE vs PERRY MASON

America took yet another kick to the groin this week thanks to the Obama administration's decision to turn battlefields into crime scenes. When those of us on the right joked last year about Obama forcing our men and women in a war zone to read Miranda rights to captured enemy combatants, and collect evidence while interviewing witnesses on the battlefield, we were accused of "fear mongering". But, here we are.

Though volumes could be written about why bringing foreign, non-citizen terrorists to America for trial in a civilian court is a bad idea, I'm just going to write about some of the more obvious ones. That is, obvious to me and anyone who has ever watched an episode of Law & Order, but apparently not obvious to our Attorney General Eric Holder.

1. These people are not American citizens, were not caught in America, and are thus not entitled to our Constitutional rights.
2. Any first year law student will be able to get them off the hook because they were not read their rights prior to detainment, nullifying any evidence that may or may not have been collected at the scene.
3. Now that we know they have been "tortured" (glorified cold showers), any confession will be claimed to have been gotten under duress...nullifying that too.
4. Because life in an American prison can be considered an upgrade compared to the living conditions of the typical Muslim terrorist, their worst case scenario of being caught will be to have "three hots", a cot, a roof, a toilet, a new Koran, a new prayer rug, and free health care until their lawyer gets them off for reasons one, two, and three. This alone will be a Godsend to terrorist recruiters.
5. Now terrorists will be able to use the courts and consequently the media as their own personal bully pulpit.
6. Now terrorists will be able to use prisons as their own personal recruiting offices.
7. Our intelligence community will be subjected to having their methods and agent's identities entered as evidence, leaving them open to prosecution and public exposure.
8. The Uniform Code of Military Justice will be pretty much obsolete and redundant.
9. Every U.S. soldier, Airman, Sailor and Marine will need legal training or hire a lawyer to ride shotgun into battle with them.
10. From now on, our best chance to defeat our enemies is to hope they die from laughing so hard at us, that they won't have a chance to fly planes into our office buildings or shoot up our Army bases.