Sunday, August 3, 2008

BUMPER STICKER LOGIC

Being a truck driver can occasionally be a tad boring. Driving for miles on end forces you to find ways to entertain yourself from time to time. For me, I have found reading bumper stickers to be a pretty good way to pass the time. Some stickers are little more than advertisements for a product, service, or restaurant. Of course others are supposed to be pearls of political wisdom offered up by drivers of Volvo station wagons and Toyota hybrids. Those are my favorite.
Unfortunately, we don't live in a world where pulling these people over and demanding they explain the logic of their bumper sticker is politically correct...or legal...or sane. Thankfully, I can at least use the power of the blog to deconstruct the concepts of some of the more popular bumper stickers. Here they are in no particular order:

WAR IS NOT THE ANSWER
Well, that depends on the question. If the question is what to do when your neighbor's dog leaves a "present" on your lawn, then the answer is probably not "war". If your wife leaves the toilet seat down, the proper response is probably not "war".
But, if the question is what to do with a murdering dictator who has a history of invading other people's countries and funding terrorism, all while threatening both your country, your Ally's country and the world's oil supply after years of diplomacy, political pressure, sanctions, and threats of "serious consequences" don't work...then the answer most definitely is "war".

CLINTON LIED, NO ONE DIED
Oh really? Ever hear of Somalia? Black Hawk Down? WTC 1st try? USS Cole? Kenya? Tanzania? Khobar Towers? Rwanda? Serbia? Waco? Ruby Ridge? Vince Foster?

IMPEACH BUSH
It's a Democrat controlled Congress. What's stopping you? If you really have a case, go for it.

COEXIST
Tell that to radical Islamists when they're beheading someone or "honor killing" their daughters.

NO WAR FOR OIL
You're right, there is "no war for oil".

SUPPORT THE TROOPS, BRING THEM HOME NOW
How is bringing them home before the job is done, resulting in their many sacrifices having been made for nothing considered to be "supporting" them?

FREE TIBET
Why? What makes them so special? If Iraq isn't worthy of freedom, then why is Tibet?

BUSH LIED
Maybe about being a conservative.

STOP GLOBAL WARMING
I don't think the sun can read bumper stickers.