Saturday, March 15, 2008

Obammanation

I go to great lengths to not write about my religious beliefs. Not out of shame, but because I want people to realize that conservatism is not strictly for Christians. I want to reach as many people as possible and relate the "Right's" philosophy to their life, regardless of their religion or lack-there-of. For the purposes of tonight's post, I am going to veer from my cardinal rule of keeping my religion close to my vest. This week, a window into the world of Sen. Barrack Obamma has been open. Well, smashed with a brick is probably more like it. Now that the video footage of Sen. Obamma's pastor has been made public, we should all be asking the same questions.
Does Sen. Obamma believe this stuff too? How can you attend a church for twenty years and never know this about your pastor until now? Did Pastor Wright only chose the Sundays when Barrack was not attending to spout his hatred of America and whites, and then swear the entire church to secrecy? Was this secret really kept from Sen. Obamma for twenty years? I watched an interview with Sen. Obamma responding to the comments that his pastor had shouted from the pulpit. An amazing thing happened. The Obamma that on any given day can speak with the finesse of some of the great orators of our time started to stammer and even studder. It was like a whole different person was coming to light. As expected, he used a whole lot of words, yet said nothing. The difference this time was that he was speaking in the same tones that I myself use when my wife catches me putting the laundry on the wrong setting. As if to say, "I know I just got caught, but I don't have a good excuse handy right now".

You see, I know a little bit about this topic, because I go to church myself. In fact, in the time since my own pastor retired, I have been to quite a few churches. That's because my wife and I have yet to find a church that we feel comfortable in and some of them have preached a message that we do not fully agree with. We believe that such a decision is our right as well as our duty. Heck, I demanded that we leave a church recently because I felt that a sermon was too insulting to those who believe in controlling the U.S. border. The point is, when you attend a church, you should be on the same page as your pastor. He is there to teach you his/her interpretation of the word of God. He is there to mentor you and your family. He is there to guide you spiritually. He is there to lead you in your quest to find salvation and enlightenment. If you don't believe him, you are in the wrong church. If you don't agree with him, you are in the wrong church. If you don't respect him, you are in the wrong church.

From this I draw the following conclusions:

Possibility # 1: He didn't know his pastor was an anti-American racist. That means he is too oblivious to be President.

Possibility #2: He knew, but thought no one would find out. That means he is too stupid to be President.

Possibility #3: He Knew, but thought he could talk or distract his way out of it. That means that he is too arrogant to be President.

Possibility #4: The pastor and his entire congregation are really, really, good at keeping secrets from Senator Obamma.

Possibility #5: His pastor has one of those "flashy things" that Will Smith used in Men In Black. That really doesn't disqualify Obamma from being President, but it does mean that we are not alone.

Possibility #6: He actually agrees with Pastor Wright, yet wants us to think otherwise. That qualifies him to be President of any America-hating country on the globe, MSNBC, CNN, CBS, NBC, ABC, NPR, The Washington Post, The New York Times, Move on.org, the Communist Party, the Democrat Party, The Dixie Chicks, Hollywood, Al-Quaeda, most labor unions, the United Nations and his local housing association...but not the United States of America.