ROADHOUSE GOES TO COURT

Normally, when people have some sort of court appearance, they look at it as something to dread. They see it as an inconvenience. If they are there to defend themselves it can also be intimidating. Thankfully, my first ever trip to court was because I had been summoned to be a witness in a drunk driving incident.
Part of being a truck driver means that you see a lot of bad things on the road. One such thing was a pair of individuals from south of the border in a car that was driving so erratically, that I thought maybe the driver had suffered a heart attack and the car was out of control. After calling 911, I followed them and reported their destination to the authorities. After the passenger was finished urinating in public on their own car, the state troopers arrived and proceeded to cuff and stuff them. Neither had a valid driver's licence and both had "questionable" immigration status. Both were totally drunk to the point that they could barely stand. Keep in mind that this was about 6:oo pm, not right after closing time at the bar. I know that this story is hard to believe because as we all know, all immigrants are law abiding citizens and would never drive drunk...but it did happen.
A week later, I received my first summons. I was so proud. Luckily, I was to appear during my "staycation" and not during a work day. Otherwise I would have been p*$$*d. As it turns out, the driver happened to have been out on bond for another crime (I know, I know...hard to believe) so he took a deal and my testimony wasn't needed after all.

The most interesting part of this whole situation turned out to be the people who were not even involved with this case. As I was waiting in the hall for the judge to arrive, I was getting quite an education as to how some people think you should present yourself to a judge. One girl decided that it would be a good idea to show up wearing her Mickey Mouse pajamas. Another came sporting gang tattoos and lip, eyebrow, and nose rings. A guy just down from me thought it would be cool idea to show up high as a kite with eyes that could have doubled for stop signs. Un-shaven faces and flip-flops were also acceptable attire in this particular court of law.
Then there was "Bill". Bill was a seemingly normal looking guy who was dressed to go to the driving range, not court. Compared to the others, his fashions were not going to be an issue. His problems started when he walked into the courtroom just as his docket number was being called, not 15 minutes early as instructed. Bill was cited for driving on a suspended licence. When the judge asked him why he had no lawyer representing him, he looked as though he was being spoken to in some kind of unknown language. He told the judge that he didn't know that he needed a lawyer. The judge's look was one that had to be seen. He asked Bill if he realized that he was standing in front of a District Court Justice in a court of law because he was facing a up to a year in prison and thousands of dollars in fines. Bill nearly passed out.
The judge had mercy on Bill and issued a continuance, after ordering him to bring a lawyer next time.

You often hear how stupid some people are, and how others simply have no respect for the law even when they will be the only ones who suffer for it. But sometimes you have to experience it to truly believe it. I'm sure that "high guy" and "shrapnel face" really thought that they would be helping their case with their antics, but I have a feeling that the judge was not amused when their case came across his bench.

BUMPER STICKER LOGIC

Being a truck driver can occasionally be a tad boring. Driving for miles on end forces you to find ways to entertain yourself from time to time. For me, I have found reading bumper stickers to be a pretty good way to pass the time. Some stickers are little more than advertisements for a product, service, or restaurant. Of course others are supposed to be pearls of political wisdom offered up by drivers of Volvo station wagons and Toyota hybrids. Those are my favorite.
Unfortunately, we don't live in a world where pulling these people over and demanding they explain the logic of their bumper sticker is politically correct...or legal...or sane. Thankfully, I can at least use the power of the blog to deconstruct the concepts of some of the more popular bumper stickers. Here they are in no particular order:

WAR IS NOT THE ANSWER
Well, that depends on the question. If the question is what to do when your neighbor's dog leaves a "present" on your lawn, then the answer is probably not "war". If your wife leaves the toilet seat down, the proper response is probably not "war".
But, if the question is what to do with a murdering dictator who has a history of invading other people's countries and funding terrorism, all while threatening both your country, your Ally's country and the world's oil supply after years of diplomacy, political pressure, sanctions, and threats of "serious consequences" don't work...then the answer most definitely is "war".

CLINTON LIED, NO ONE DIED
Oh really? Ever hear of Somalia? Black Hawk Down? WTC 1st try? USS Cole? Kenya? Tanzania? Khobar Towers? Rwanda? Serbia? Waco? Ruby Ridge? Vince Foster?

IMPEACH BUSH
It's a Democrat controlled Congress. What's stopping you? If you really have a case, go for it.

COEXIST
Tell that to radical Islamists when they're beheading someone or "honor killing" their daughters.

NO WAR FOR OIL
You're right, there is "no war for oil".

SUPPORT THE TROOPS, BRING THEM HOME NOW
How is bringing them home before the job is done, resulting in their many sacrifices having been made for nothing considered to be "supporting" them?

FREE TIBET
Why? What makes them so special? If Iraq isn't worthy of freedom, then why is Tibet?

BUSH LIED
Maybe about being a conservative.

STOP GLOBAL WARMING
I don't think the sun can read bumper stickers.

PARIS FOR PRESIDENT

This week, John McCain launched his latest campaign add. The premise of the add was to question the legitimacy of Barack Obama's seemingly un-checked rise to celebrity status. While comparing Obama to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, the add ends by asking if Obama is ready to lead. In any other election season, I would probably dismiss this add as just another tactic designed to distract voters. But let's face it, this is not just "any other election season".

This season, we have a candidate with no definable experience what-so-ever attempting to be elected the leader of the free world. Don't get me wrong, 143 days worth of experience at McDonald's would probably qualify you to be an assistant manager...well, maybe not. 143 days of experience behind the wheel of an eighteen wheeler would qualify you to run a trucking company...well, maybe not. As a matter of fact, I have beer in my fridge that's been there for more than 143 days. Does the fact that during his lengthy 143 day Senate career Obama most often voted "present" rather than "yes" or "no" warrant such rock star treatment?

Perhaps I'm being a little hard on B.O. After all, he was a "community organizer" earlier in his life. Now, could someone tell me exactly what a "community organizer" is?

The point is, like Hilton and Spears, Barack Obama is famous and no one can tell you why. Like Hilton and Spears, he looks good but has no real talent and no marketable skills. Like Hilton and Spears, B.O. is popular because the media tells you he's popular...not because of a long list of accomplishments. Like Hilton and Spears, whenever Obama strays from a pre-written script and tries to speak on his own, what comes out of his mouth is nothing less than naive, and he's not questioned about it. Like Hilton and Spears, Obama has legions of fans who couldn't care less that he has no identifiable substance, so long as he keeps making them feel good. Like Hilton and Spears, Obama has become a distraction from those who actually have talent and paid their dues through years of hard work and sacrifice.

So far as I can see, the only real difference between Obama and the other two is a mini-skirt.

FOR MY ICE ROAD BRETHREN

Being a truck driver provides me with a pretty solid paycheck, and limitless opportunities to learn something new every day. My chosen occupation also gives me the occasional chance to teach people about things they might never have noticed before. One such opportunity comes in the form of The History Channel's Ice Road Truckers.

Aside from showing some of the day to day dangers that we "big riggers" face on the road, Ice Road Truckers has been a pretty handy teaching aid as I try to explain to some of my more liberal associates the reality of oil exploration and drilling procedures in the northern-most territories of the globe.
You see, it is a popular misconception that drilling requires the mass murder of wildlife and leaves the land an un-inhabitable environmental disaster. For years, I have made the case that drilling requires little if any environmental sacrifice. Yet for some reason, there are still those who believe that drilling rigs are lubricated with the blood of baby seals.

Thankfully, this season's Ice Road Truckers finds the drivers hauling across the Arctic Ocean as they transport natural gas drilling equipment to exploration sites. What makes the show so great is the fact that it shows in living color the desolation of the northern territories while simultaneously demonstrating the great lengths and expense that energy companies go to in order to avoid harm to the environment. And it does this without even being the main point of the show. The show is about the dangers of driving massive trucks on frozen lakes and oceans, but does an even better job of proving that drilling is not the environmental sin that it's made out to be.

As I watched a recent episode with my wife, I pointed out to her the cap-valve that sticks out of the ground at the core of the drilling site. I explained to her how that little valve that could easily be mistaken for a fire hydrant is all that will be left after drilling has stopped. I also pointed out how every piece of equipment is modular and designed to be mobile and used over and over again at multiple sites. There are no permanent structures involved. They even go to the extreme of putting down mats to catch oil that might be leaking from idling truck engines.

During the show, I also like to try to calculate the amount of money being spent in trucks, equipment, man power, and maintenance. The cost of fuel alone must be staggering. Then factor in tires, brake pads, cable, insurance, etc. etc. and you start to see some of the reasons why fuel costs so much. You also start to get a taste of how much of a gamble it is for oil and gas companies to explore for new sources of energy.

So now when I get into a discussion with someone who thinks the oil companies are trying to destroy the Earth, I just tell them to watch this season's Ice Road Truckers and get back to me.

Side note: It's also cool to see something on TV for a change that shows men being masculine. Hard cussin', hard workin' guys who don't drink lattes, don't get manicures and aren't slaves to political correctness are a dying breed. As a member of their shrinking society, it's just nice to know that there will be at least some record of our existence.

JOHN EDWARDS: A.K.A. Mr. uhhmm..."SMITH"

I usually don't pay much attention to anything that comes from the pages of the National Inquirer, but this week I decided to make a "change". Get it? "Change?" When word leaked about the Inquirer's impending story about John Edwards' alleged affair and resulting "love child", it wasn't the story itself that I found interesting. In fact, I immediately assumed it was just another headline designed to grab the attention of old ladies in the checkout line at the grocery store. But then I started to give it some thought.

The Inquirer is a paper that is no stranger to litigation. In fact, it has lost more than one lawsuit in recent years costing them hundreds of millions of dollars, as well as credibility. So that begs the question: If you were going to make up stories about someone famous, would you pick a famous trial lawyer? Would you risk the company wad going after someone who has become a multi-millionaire by taking apart billion dollar industries in a courtroom? Would you make up stories about someone who is as closely watched and documented as a Vice Presidential candidate? I liken this to me picking a fight with Kimbo Slice.

Then there is the Edwards angle as well. If you were falsely accused of sleeping around and fathering a child illegitimately, wouldn't you fight for your reputation? Wouldn't you fight for your marriage? Wouldn't your first order of business be a press conference where you tell the public that you are submitting DNA test swabs and making the results public as soon as they are returned? Wouldn't your second order of business be to tell the media that your team of cut-throat attorneys are busy starting the litigation process as we speak? Wouldn't you be the next owner of the National Inquirer?

Strangely, this has not been Edwards' reaction as of yet. Either the Inquirer has made the biggest mistake in judgement in the history of the printed word, or there is something to this story. The media's silence is deafening, but not surprising. That makes me wonder if they knew something about Obama's VP choice that we didn't.

OVER-EXPOSED

I have often ranted about liberal bias in the media, maybe out of frustration, or maybe just to get the word out and shed a little light on it. My wife thinks it's therapeutic. As I watch Obama-mania unfold in front of me, I find that there are enough examples of media bias to fill my hard drive. The most difficult thing about writing about the Obamafication of the media is trying to decide what to mention and what not to mention. Otherwise, my articles would be too long to keep the reader interested. Keeping that in mind, I'm going to stick with some of the more recent examples.


Let's start with the obvious. Barak Obama added to his 143 days of experience this week by taking a trip to Iraq and Afghanistan. OK, let's say that by itself, that weren't a publicity stunt. Why would no less than three major networks have their heavy hitters coincidentally stationed there as well? After all, they were nowhere to be found when McCain traveled there.
As this was going on, the New York Times pitched-in to help the "Hope-meister" by publishing an article he wrote, while simultaneously rejecting one from McCain. No bias there I'm sure.

The most glaring example of the media being in B.O.'s corner is what you don't see. For example, you don't see reporters ask him why one week he says the war in Iraq is a "distraction", then the next week he says Iraq is a "front in the war on terror". You don't see reporters ask why he believes the reduction of violence in Iraq is a result of decisions made by tribal forces, instead of the U.S. military kicking their asses. Basically, down-playing the effectiveness of their sacrifices...while in their theater of battle. That must be the "audacity" I keep hearing about.
You don't see reporters asking Obama why he consistently chooses the word "end" rather than "win" when referring to his future plans for Iraq. You don't see reporters asking him how raising taxes on fuel and the companies that produce it will lower the cost of fuel. And then there is my personal favorite. After nearly eight years of watching all corners of the media specially the entertainment wing) skewer President Bush for his mis-pronunciations, and sloppy speaking style, I find it a little strange that people aren't making fun of Obama's verbal crutches as well. There are times when I'm not sure if I'm watching Barak Obama or Mel Tillis. Yet the Late Night TV shows can't seem to find comedy in that. I gave up watching The Daily Show years ago, but I'm willing to bet that Jon Stewart hasn't spent much time on the walking punchline that is B.O.'s off-prompter speaking style.

It's all good though. Obama will continue to threaten our relationship with Pakistan and Israel before even setting foot in the Whitehouse, and the Press will continue to treat him as a brilliant statesman. The left will continue to deny there's a liberal bias in the media, and the right will continue to shut out of the conversation. And as Journey sang so long ago, "the wheel in the sky keeps on turning".

LIBERALISM: THE REAL MENTAL DISORDER

When I wrote my book, I opened by comparing my former liberal tendencies to having a sickness. Four years after writing that chapter, I find that I was more right than I even knew. As it turns out, liberalism really is a sickness, a mental disorder to be exact.
Think about it. If you consider how liberalism is applied to issues today, and the end result of doing so, you can only draw the conclusion that liberalism is akin to schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder, or maybe autism.

A liberal will decry racism, but turn around and support racist policies such as affirmative action.
A liberal will not say a word when a woman kills her baby out of convenience, but has a cow when a murderer is sentenced to death.
A liberal claims to want an end to poverty, but villainieses those who become successful.
A liberal claims to want an end to poverty, but votes for those who are known to raise taxes.
A liberal claims to want an end to poverty, but supports policies like ethanol gasoline, and not drilling for oil...both of which raise the cost of pretty much everything.
A liberal complains about human rights abuses, but scorns the US military when they kill the abusers.
A liberal rails against imperialism and government power, but supports any policy that puts more power in the hands of government.
A liberal will harp about freedom of speech, but only speech they agree with.
A liberal will decry intervention in the affairs of other countries like Iraq, but demands intervention in Darfur and Tibet.
A liberal will demand something be done about North Korea's nukes, after voting against a missile defense system here in the US.
A liberal assumes intellectual superiority, but can't tell you what Obamma's policies are, don't know why we're in Iraq, thinks corporations pay taxes, thinks higher taxes on gas will bring down the price of gas, thinks the Earth's temperature didn't change until the automobile was invented, and thinks we can control the weather with lightbulbs and crappy cars.

These are only a few examples of how liberalism defies logic and reason, which are signs of mental disorder.