NPR'S LOSS...OUR GAIN

In support of Juan Williams, I have decided to re-run an article I wrote in February of 2009. I sure hope NPR and George Soros think they've got their money's worth by firing Williams. Rather, I do believe they've just thrown NPR's "thought police" agenda head-long into the national spotlight for everyone to see.
I guess Teri Gross can officially call her show All Liberal Things Considered.



WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE

No, this is not a "photo-shopped" picture designed to shamelessly plug my book. It actually is me with the Juan Williams of FOX News and NPR. Mr. Williams was lecturing at Shippensburg State College, which is mear minutes from the Roadhouse homestead. As a long time fan of Williams, I couldn't justify missing an opportunity to meet him. As a conservative, I often disagree with Juan's assessment of issues facing our nation, but what sets Williams apart from the liberal herd is not his opinions, it's his personality.
Since I first took the red pill and was drawn into the "Matrix" that is the world of politics, I've seen many political pundits hock their wares across my television screen. Among the liberal media are platoons of snarky, elitist "intellectuals" who never miss a chance to bash conservatives with little more than school yard shin-kickery. Through it all, one guy has stood out to a point where I frequently ask my wife, "Why can't the rest of those jerks be more like him?" That guy is Juan Williams.
The topic of his speech was "Eyes on the Prize: The Truths of American Race Relations". Admittedly, I was expecting Mr. Williams to be a bit more partisan, given the college setting and no cameras rolling. I actually told my traveling companion (AKA, my father-in-law) that we would probably be doing a lot of eye rolling during his lecture. I was wrong.
Like true statesmen of a time pre-dating focus groups and Neilson ratings, Williams spoke of racism in terms that were both fair and accurate. He spoke of personal responsibility or lack there of in the black community. He spoke of Dr. King's message and how he might relate to society today if he were still alive to witness things like gangsta' rap or modern day poverty. He reminded us that even though there is more work to be done, people in general have come much further in their attitudes towards racism than they are usually given credit for. He advocated more communication between ethnicities, and how important it is to keep the conversation going.
Amazingly, he did this without blaming George Bush for all the ills facing the black community, and without throwing verbal pitchforks at those of us on the "right". Unlike just about every liberal talking head I have ever heard, Williams managed to speak for an hour, and take questions from a predominantly "left" audience without making me want to throw produce at him. In fact, I really can't think of one thing he said that I disagreed with. Spooky huh?
After his speech, he did a book signing. He was every bit the respectable American in person that he is on the TV. I told him that I don't always agree with him, but I consider him to be a true statesman. I gave him a copy of my book and he was even gracious enough to let me get a picture of him holding it...his idea.
Juan Williams...a class act, and proof that being a liberal doesn't mean you have to be a nut-job.

THE FAT LADY DIDN'T SING YET!

Maybe it's my repeated exposure to the lessons of Aesop's Fables which I've been reading to my kids for the past six years. Maybe it's my eternal "glass half empty and leaking rapidly while teetering on the edge of the table" way of looking at life. But in any case, I must tell you that I refuse to adopt the current general consensus that the Democrats are going to go down in flames via a Republican tsunami in this year's mid-term election.
Fore-gone conclusions may be fun to consider, especially when there seems to be so much circumstantial evidence to support them. Polls might be a blast to track and calculate. But I would caution everyone hoping to end the current nightmare to remember a few things.
Only two short years ago, this very same country elected a man with no verifiable experience, connections to enough radical, anti-American communists to start a baseball league and a legislative resume more hazy than my recollections of my 21st birthday (thanks alot Coors brewing company).

In those two short years, the media has yet to loosen their lip-lock on Obama's hind-quarters. In those two short years, Obama supporters have had time to rally funds and organize. In those two short years, political and legislative efforts have been made to help insure a Democrat victory. And I think it's safe to assume that in those two short years, the number of people who've had a political epiphany and come to their senses is probably less than overwhelming.

It's not that I'm trying to pee in our own Cheerios, I just want us to remember who we're up against. Team Obama is a conglomeration of bullies, radicals and well connected union leg breakers. To them, cheating, lying, distracting, and winning "by any means necessary" is part of the job description. My point is that it is way to early for anyone to be breaking out bottles of champaign and making assumptions of any kind (I'm looking at you Dick Morris).
Let's wait until that fateful Tuesday night to decide if we should be toasting our victories or drowning our sorrows. In the meantime, we need to fight this political battle as if our very life depends on it...because it does.

GREAT BALLS OF FIRE...or not.

In the weeks following the dueling controversies of the Ground Zero Mosque and the burning of Korans by some "weak on follow-through" preacher from down south, much has been said about Americans being "Islam-o-phobic". My old school Webster's dictionary defines phobia as "a persistent illogical fear". Being acrophobic myself, I can relate to a having a fear that could be considered "illogical"...except for the whole "plummeting to a horribly violent death, resulting in your guts being splattered about the ground like a busted water balloon" thing. Other than that, a fear of heights is pretty irrational. But what about Islam-o-phobia?

Is Islam-o-phobia really a phobia? I don't know, is it "illogical" to fear a religion that has been conquering empires since pre-biblical times? Is it "illogical" to fear a religion combined with a system of government that sanctions female genital mutilation and honor killings...in the year 2010 no less? Is it "illogical" to fear a religion that calls for the violent death of anyone who does not convert to it?

Is it illogical to fear a religion responsible for the September 11th attacks, the first World Trade Center bombing, The USS Cole bombing, Lockerbie, Munich, Iranian hostage crises, embassy bombings, British subway bombings, Marine barracks bombings, Fort Hood, DC sniper attacks, Danny Pearl and Nick Burge beheadings, Spain train bombings, Somalia, Serbia, etc, etc?

Obviously, as Americans we are simply over-reacting in our skepticism toward the agenda of the Muslim community. Be that as it may, I have decided that logical or not, I am Islam-o-phobic.

I break it down this way. When a person of any-or-no faith at all depicts Jesus or the Bible in an unflattering way (see Comedy Central), the most they have to fear from a Christian is a good ol' fashioned forgiving, and maybe a prayer or two. Yet when someone says (or draws) something showing Allah or the Koran in a negative light, it's time to strap on the bomb vests or break out the beheading swords. And another thing. Has anyone noticed that there seems to be no Hindu-phobia, Bhuddah-phobia, or even Satan Worship-0-phobia in the world? I wonder why that is? Oh, that's right, those guys don't see blowing up schools as a way to please thier various diaties.

LIFE, LIBERTY, AND LANDSCAPING

Leave it to me to have an entirely different take on the 8/28
"Restoring Honor" rally that I and a co-worker attended last week. As expected, I was impressed with the turn-out, and the general attitudes of everyone I saw there. I found no fault with any of the speakers, their message, or even the accommodations for such a mass of people. But as I and my former Marine, fellow truck driving traveling companion walked through the crowd, one thing stood out as a constant, nagging, negative observation...THIS PLACE WAS A DUMP!

Some of you may remember my article chronicling my trip to Washington DC for the 9/12 Tea Party rally last fall. At that particular event, my excursion was limited to the northernmost end of the National Mall. While I was there, I had spent most of my time in the middle of the mall talking to people, as opposed to critiquing the mall itself. This latest trip was different.
At it's southernmost point, the National Mall is a mix of wooded areas, ponds, monuments, and small rolling hills, with any number of bushes and shrubs throughout. Sounds pleasant and picturesque, right? Not so much.
You see, I forgot to mention the many areas that I would best describe as some sort of cess pool/swamp-like spring situation, and the countless ankle-breaking, basketball-size holes that dotted the grounds. Then there was the Reflecting Pool.
Being a naive American, I assumed that the Reflecting Pool and surrounding ponds were filled with water. WRONG! Apparently, these features are being used as temporary holding sites for an un-identifiable liquid, best described as something that might be leaking from Monty Burns' nuclear power plant, and kept secret with the help of "Fat Tony" and Mayor Quimby (Simpsons fans know what I mean).
I can also assume that no part of the trillions of dollars in current Federal spending has been allotted for the purchase of weed eaters. I mean really. The National Mall is visited annually by hundreds of thousands of people from around the globe. It is supposed to be inspirational and project an aura of both power and elegance. Between you and me though, the landscaping at my house makes the National Mall's look like a pile of puke.

To be fair, until 9/12/09, I hadn't been to Washington DC since Reagan was in office, so I am not blaming Obama for this one. For all I know, the Mall might have been looking this way for the past twenty years. Still, that's no excuse to have the beacon of freedom for the entire world looking (and smelling) like a truck stop bath room.

COLOR COMMENTARY

One Saturday, Fred decided to take his sixteen year old daughter Jane car shopping. Her grades were good, and she had been holding down a part time job, so he felt she was worthy of her own set of wheels. Not yet in the first mile of their shopping excursion, Jane let out an ear piercing shriek proclaiming that she had found her ride of choice. "That one, that one right there!" she screamed.
Slamming on the brakes, Fred sailed into the otherwise vacant lot where the only vehicle present was a 1987 Ford F-350 diesel crew cab truck, complete with dual wheels and contractor's "shop body". Unsure, Fred asked his daughter if he had missed the car she was bellowing about. He had barely stopped his pick-up when she jumped out, ran across the lot and hugged the old Ford work truck as if it were her long lost soul mate.
Naturally assuming that this was his little girl's idea of a practical joke, he reminded her that their time was limited and asked her to get back in the pick-up. But Jane persisted, proclaiming that this hulking mass of metal, rust, and oil leaks was exactly the vehicle she both needed and wanted. Realizing both that she had never picked up a tool in her life, and that she was hoping to major in English literature (not masonry) after high school, Fred felt obligated to start asking some questions.
He asked Jane if she knew what kind of fuel mileage this truck was probably going to get. She proudly said that she didn't care. He then asked if she understood how difficult this truck was going to be to park. She acted as she didn't even hear him. When he asked if there was any practical purpose for her to own such a vehicle, she said "No, but who cares?"
Humoring her insanity, he suggested they call the number and see if they can arrange a test drive. She laughed and said "No way, why bother?". Upon further inspection, he noted to her that all six tires were bald, and the passenger door's glass was busted out. Again, his daughter ignored his observation.
Amazed at her ignorance, and short-sightedness, Fred impatiently asked her why on God's green Earth would she ever want such a colossally impractical vehicle to get from home to school in? Jane looked at him as if he had three heads, and after scolding him for being so incredibly ignorant and narrow minded she said "Are you kidding? Can't you see? It's BLUE!!!"

This story may seem unlikely and ridiculous in it's substance, but it's a perfect analogy to the liberal progressive's idea of advancement and hiring on the basis of "diversity".

ROADHOUSE ENDS TERRORISM

In order to solve the issue of terrorism as soon as possible, I have decided to submit my anti-terrorism policy proposal today, rather than keep it in my pocket until my inevitable election to the U.S. Presidency. The following is a practical, effective formula designed to end terrorism in timely, efficient and economical manner.


POST INAUGURATION ANTI-TERRORISM PROPOSAL

Effective-immediately following swearing in ceremony.


Day one: I instruct the Joint Chiefs of Staff to launch a mass-media campaign including but not limited to leaflet drops, E-mail, radio broadcasts, text messages, and co-opted television spots across the entire Middle East. The message will be simple:


Attention: Due to the latest terror attacks in the name of Islam, the United States will be implementing the following response. As of today, every coalition soldier killed of injured in Iraq or Afghanistan will be replaced by three more soldiers.

Henceforth, our mission objective will no longer be to replace, or modify in any way the governments of any country or province in the Middle East. As of today, our mission will be to kill terrorists, and suspected terrorists. The United States reserves the right to enter any country harboring terrorists, and will use all resources to kill them and destroy their capabilities.
The United States will be implementing new rules of engagement. In short, if we have reason to believe you are a terrorist, we are going to kill you. If we have reason to believe you are helping terrorists, we are going to kill you. Any building known to contain a terrorist will be considered a priority target...including but not limited to mosques and/or madrases. Terrorists will be considered priority targets at all times...including but not limited to when they are among "civilians". We suggest distancing yourself from those you suspect of being a terrorist. It would also be in your best interest to assist coalition forces in the search for terror suspects, as we will be utilizing our newest anti-Islamic terrorism munitions.

I am directing the U.S. Army to deploy our new "pork round" technology. Starting today, every bullet, mine, rocket, bomb, missile, and grenade in our arsenal will be impregnated with pork fat in it's inner core. The pork will be extruded from pigs that have been raised by female Baptist preachers, and blessed by Jewish Rabbis.

We will no longer consider it our responsibility to replace or rebuild any infrastructure damaged as a result of our incursion. Remember, if you don't attack us, we won't attack you.

Regarding our current occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan. There will be a timeline for our departure, and it will be set by the United States...not the U.N. Until said deadline, the aforementioned countries will have the opportunity to convince the world that it actually wants to control it's own destiny. In the event that such aspirations are not demonstrated, our deadline will stand, and the resulting power vacuum will be filled by whichever entity wants it most. Human rights abuses and oil will no longer be a consideration of the United States as we will be drilling and refining our own oil and protecting our own civil rights with the help of the United States Marine Corps.

Those not wanting to live under Taliban or Al-Queda control will be given the opportunity to apply for asylum and U.S. citizenship after a lengthy screening process. In return, they will be obligated to work for the U.S. tax-payer through a supervised sponsorship program where they will earn their citizenship and resulting benefits until the day of their full citizenship.

We regret any inconvenience as a result of our new anti-terrorism policy, but then again, we didn't ask anyone to fly planes into our buildings either.

...BUT I UNDERSTAND.

In the interest of full disclosure, I must reveal my one true fear in life...air travel. I do realize that for a most people flying is as routine as eating at McDonald's. For me, flying in anything under any circumstance is a crippling nightmare. Hence, I simply won't do it. So in an odd and irrational way, I have always had a certain admiration for anyone brave enough to board a plane. By my weird way of looking at it, you could be Jeffrey Dahmer and I would still be able to respect you for having the stones to fly. Those who fly for a living have always fascinated me. It stands to reason that these people would have to understand the law of averages alone makes their job particularly risky. Yet, they still go to work. Couple that with an increasingly whiny and belligerent public, and you have the makings of a potential emotional powder keg.

As a truck driver, I can relate to dealing with the public, while still having to maintain a professional attitude as you wear your company's logo on your chest. Representing your employers and keeping cool under pressure can be one of the hardest parts of driving an eighteen wheeler. So when I heard the story of the flight attendant who "lost it" and went off on the passengers on his plane, only to then deploy the emergency ramp, and go home, I knew I had a kindred spirit out there.
This guy is my new hero. He did something that most of us only dream of doing, and did it with style and passion. Really, grabbing the six pack of beer on his way to the chute was genius in it's simplicity, putting the cherry on top. In this summer of oppressive heat and an even more oppressive government, I had to wonder just how many of us will be "going stewardess" in the coming years.
I'm not saying what he did was right...but I understand.